Things You Don't Want to Hear Over an Airline System
- Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices.
- Hey folks, we're going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.
- Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airline's new commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza.
- Goose! Bogey at 2 o'clock....one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! Eject!!!!!!!
- Ummmmmm....Sorry......(silence)
- (As the plane turns around right after takeoff)....uhhhhh....we have to go back ....we ..we ....uhhhhhh ....forgot something.....
- I'm sure everyone noticed the loss of an engine, however the reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more efficiently now.
- Fasten your seat belt. (same tone your friend with the suicidal driving tendencies uses when you get in the car).
- This is your Captain speaking....these stupid planes are a lot different than the ships I'm used to.. so you'll have to give me some leeway...
- It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades and watched the in-flight movie.
- We've now reached our cruising altitude of 20,000 feet and ... Oh noooooooo!!!!!..
- Don't worry! That one is always on E...
- Get the parachutes ready...
- Drinks are on me...
- I'll have what the Captain's having...
- Hey capt'n take another hit man...
Sent by: Joke Labs posted on 07 March 2007